Beautiful Day

What you don't have you don't need it now

What you don't know you can feel it somehow

- Beautiful Day, U2

A friend of mine posted the above article with a caption "True! Bila nak mulakan langkah ni?". I am assuming she wanted to take the leap but she just hasn't. Based on Xandria Ooi's article, I think it is very common and totally normal for most students or graduates to feel so unsure of what they really want to do after school. I was one of them. In fact, I envy my cousin Andy Wira whom I think had it planned and clearly has visualised about what he wanted to do after school, what course and which university he wants to enroll himself into. Even during my university days, I observed that there are a lot of "Andys". Still I wasn't one of them. I was the student who keep changing the "Cita-cita" part dalam buku rekod warna merah tu. I think it just feels so good to write peguam or akauntan each start of the year. I was a late boomer. I know nothing. 

Luckily, Allah itulah sebaik-baik perancang. Through the years, I met and made friends with people who has direct and indirectly helped me find my element. Apart from being brought up by parents who have been their own bosses all their lives, I finally realized that I am not born to work from 9 to 5.  Did I say I was a late boomer? I discovered this when I was pregnant with Elena and was in my second year tenure in Petronas. 

I kind of lost my drive and was literally dragging my feet to work at that time. I love the job, the environment, the opportunity to learn new things every single day but I just felt like minum air banyak tapi tak hilang-hilang rasa haus. Kehausan rasa kepuasan yang tidak terhingga. 

Believe it or not, ramai orang taktau ape passion masing-masing. What drives you? If you drink coffee or suka makan pedas, it is like that. Agen-agen dalam coffee dan cili tu bertindak to make you keep coming back for more. Passion pun begitu juga. Ia tiada kesudahan.  

Why do you think a successful person like Tony Fernandes spends most of his time flying all over the world, meeting so so many people and making so much of money? Dunia Allah ni sangat luas. Tony dah berjaya "menguasai" Malaysia tapi dek kerana kehausan rasa kepuasan yang tidak terhingga, Tony keluar dan menjelajah ke merata-rata. Entah mana lagi yang Tony akan conquer selepas ni kan. 

Someone told me, "I am where I am supposed to be". It is her job. That is what you should say when people ask you whether or not you are passionate about what you do for life. Remember, kita bukan setakat cari makan tapi kita adalah membina kehidupan (building life?). If your job is only giving you "cari makan" kind of salary, cari makan kind of waktu untuk diri sendiri, keluarga dan untuk Allah, you have to dig deep, very deep, it has got to be there somewhere in your heart, your Element. Mungkin kena tukar kerja or tukar cara hidup. Carilah dulu.