Friday, 27 January 2012

Bye Bye Bye

A very big kongratulasi to our cousin, Sofina Sani yang bakal melangkah ke alam keusahawanan tak lama lagi. It's a jungle out here, you know. Be strong, you finally did it!

Dengar cerita Sofina last day keje is on the 10th Feb. I remember feeling every bit of William Wallace masa dekat2 nak berenti dulu. Teruk sangat ke keje sampai rasa macam ni? Bukan teruk. Rasa terpenjara jiwa. Tak tahan. Tak suka Isnin. Selasa. Rabu. Khamis & Jumaat suka sebab dah dekat weekend.

Freedom!


"Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it" - Braveheart (1995) 

Friday, 20 January 2012

You've Got Mail

Happy birthday

Can you believe it? You're Double Three!
Semoga tenang di sana. Hanya doa yang mampu dikirimkan agar ditemani cahaya hendaknya.

Al-Fatihah 


Ahmad Marzuki Rifat 
20 January 1979 - 9 Oktober 2009






"The odd thing about this form of communication is you're more likely to talk about nothing than ssmething. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings. So, thanks." 


- You've Got Mail 







Oral Fixation

A week ago, I was down with fever yang juga dengan diiringi dengan muntah-muntah yang hebat. No, I am not pregnant for the third time, yet, I may have eaten something that tickle my tummy, the wrong way. I couldn't eat solids for 5 days and can bersyukur that bubur is the best that I can feast upon. Pada waktu tersangat desperate,  I made my husband beli bubur kat Kadir sebab ada ikan bilis goreng, telur masin ada cili-cili & kangkung goreng. Lama sungguh rasanya tak sakit sampai macam ni. Lembik & helpless terus. Right after recovery I feel so kurus I think I my girls shrunk into Bee Dees sizes. Gosh. I feel so un-sexy I don't even have nafsu looking at me. 

I have never been a big eater, not even during my pregnancies. I only eat when I'm hungry and I usually eat in small portions. I don't really munch in between meals and I don't like kerepek, chocolates, kekacang etc. That's why dulu masa kat office, waktu kakak yang jual munchies dalam troli tu lalu, I hardly buy from her, but kadang-kadang beli sebab kesian dia lalu tu tapi kita buat taktau pulak kan.  I've tried kononnya nak makan granola, energy bars tapi terasa macam poyo.  I am the person that people will label rugi bawak pegi buffet buka puasa yang mahal-mahal, sebab tak boleh makan banyak. Masa pregnant pun, I only gain 8 - 9 kgs and lost all of it right after I gave birth. I remember appreciating my not-so-curvy curve during those 9 months and missing it so badly once I'm back to my skeletal physique. I always complaint to my roomate that I hate being so kurus, but he said it is better than if I gain weight uncontrollably. I second that, and I am grateful. But, I do wish for a bit of flesh here and there, where it matters to me at least. 

You know, men do tell the truth (sometimes just to get themselves off the hook) when they say that "It's ok","You look ok", "Dah cantik dah tu" but we women, we are complicated ungrateful creatures most of the times. We need to be frequently reminded that we are nice to be looked at. Even in the dark. Haha. 

Can I just add fat, cheese, cupcakes, milk, and all the fattenings into my diet now? I haven't shop for pretty sleepwear ever since I can't remember when. I want to be able to wear a nice baju kurung without looking like a budak darjah-darjah, not because my face looks young (I have wrinkles) but because I am shapeless.

Heavenly body Miranda Kerr 


One of my mission impossible this year is, to gain weight, without getting pregnant. Funnily enough, I think I am going to fail. Argh. Allah tu adil kan. Agaknya memang sengaja dia tak bagi kita sesuatu yang kita nak sangat-sangat, takut-takut nanti kita tak boleh nak handle. Manalah tau kalau tiba-tiba dapat body hot, lupa diri pulak. Nauzubillah. 

Apa pun, sangat bersyukur, eventhough kurus, telah kembali sihat seperti sediakala, cuma selera makan yang belum berapa normal. Mungkin kena cari stimulant supaya tekak ada semangat nak telan makanan sedap dan menaikkan berat badan at the same time. Dan juga syukur, dalam keadaan kurus, berjaya fully breastfeed my daughter for 2 years. Two Years! Yeay to breastfeeding! 


Thursday, 12 January 2012

Life is not a box full of chocolates


My dear friend Syareza just gave birth to her second son and is now enjoying her confinement holidays at home, fully breastfeeding her baby. I thought I'd share my thoughts as well.

Life in fact is a routine. Yang bezanya ialah laluan hidup masing-masing. Fasa hidup kita sebagai isteri, ibu, menantu, biras memang tak boleh lari dari rutin. There will be things yang akan sentiasa kita buat dan ulang-ulang sebab itulah jalan hidup kita. Even in the office pun, our jobs pun ada routine tersendiri. The only difference is that we get to met different people all the time, lunches at different fine dining restaurants and offsite meeting at different resorts.

To me, daily routine sebagai housewife adalah terlalu petty untuk dirisaukan. Mungkin kita ingat, kalau ada maid, hidup akan lebih mudah, iye, betul. For now memang takde, tapi takde lah sesusah mana. Mungkin sampai masa nanti akan amik, tapi now still manageable. Even masa kerja dulu pun, it is still ok that some house chores buat ikut priority. Now dah jadi housewife, nothing has changed. Except, flexible working hours.

There are days yang rileks and rasa nak bermalas-malas, spend most of the time reading or studying. Ada jugak tiba-tiba kena rush ke sana sini and perlukan full commitment to make sure things run smoothly. There are days kena bangun awal sebab nak jumpa orang itu, orang ini. There are days boleh pegi tengok wayang and window shopping. There are days kena buat admin work, sorting bills and do some banking. There are days where all of a sudden start kereta, pegi KLCC for a quick lunch and cari buku kat Kinokuniya. So it's all terpulang pada diri sendiri untuk atur masa. 24 jam tu sangat singkat. Sometimes rasa macam kena squeeze everything at one go.

I just want to share with you this clip from Sex & The City. I bet ramai mommies out there yang feel the same. But, hey. Just be grateful.



Also my favorite quote from the movie Titanic


"I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count. " 

Jack Dawson, Titanic 1997. 

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Cantik Magik


Fotoshop by Adobé from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

Madah Berhelah

Semasa menulis ni, Dr Hasan Ali sudah pun dipecat keanggotaannya dalam PAS. Sangat curious dan tertanya-tanya dengan kontroversi yang melanda, since saya "mengenali" Hasan Ali sejak bersekolah lagi. Saya pernah join summer camp organized by this motivational expert masa cuti sekolah dulu and I can still remember it was one of the best summer camp and an experience I will never forget. 

Lepas Hasan Ali jadi politician, saya takde dah follow dia cuma legalah sebab motivator favorite saya akhirnya berjuang atas platform dan untuk Islam. Sepanjang dia jadi Exco pun, saya pun macam ramai yang di luar sana, tak kuasalah nak baca segala detail berita politik, yang penting tak ganggu hidup saya, dah cukup baik. 





Watch the video then you will understand what I mean. Agak kurang selesa dengan soalan yang Host ajukan, sebab bagi saya Host kena tanya soalan mewakili apa yang orang yang menonton diluar ni rasa nak tanya kalau dapat peluang bertanya pada tetamu yang diundang. Mungkin saya sendiri tak berapa follow rancangan ni (mungkin saya bukan penonton TV3) so saya tak pastilah apa objektif  rancangan Soal Jawab melalui interview ni, tapi you knowlah, some politician menjawab some questions secara diplomatik. Kena paham-paham sendiri. 

Tapi bila jadi macam ni, teringin jugak nak tau, bilakah dan dimanakah starting point, tersasarnya perjuangan Hasan Ali? Sesungguhnya, saya masih percaya dasar perjuangan tetap sama, yang berubah mungkin approach, method, strategi etc. Bila saya dengar komen dia kat TV3 lepas kena pecat tu, saya rasa agak irritating dengan ayat-ayatnya itu "Memperjuangkan institusi raja". Seumur hidup yang baru 32 tahun ni, saya sendiri tak pernah tahu yang saya ada tanggungjawab memperjuangkan institusi raja. Mungkinkah maksudnya macam ni : Raja menjadi rujukan rakyat untuk bab-bab berkenaan Agama dan Hal Ehwal Adat orang Melayu yang beragama Islam, jadi adalah menjadi tanggungjawab bersama untuk mengangkat Raja sebagai tempat rujukan jika berlaku kekusutan dalam hal-hal sedemikian. Tak surelah, tapi the King must be sitting there for a bigger and more important role, that I don't know of, yet. Yang saya tengok, Raja-Raja dan kerabat diraja ni rileks je. They have their own kempompong yang rakyat pun tak perlu nak question or amik tahu lebih-lebih. Kalau nak glimpses of their glamorous lives, boleh je tengok dalam all the Malaysian version of high society magazines seperti Tatler, Harper's Bazaar, Glam or Hello!. Mesti ada the same faces punya. So, apa yang Hasan Ali cuba sampaikan melalui statement "memperjuangkan institusi raja-raja" sedangkan raja-raja macam OK je menjalani kehidupan masing-masing. I just don't get it.

Entah macam mana jugak Host boleh mengajukan soalan kurang bijak seperti "Kenapa Datuk seolah-olah berseorangan di Negeri Selangor" dan lain-lain soalan yang sebenarnya dah tahu jawapan. Oh come on. 

Adakah kemungkinannya, selama ni Hasan Ali ada menyuarakan kepada pimpinan approach-approach yang dia nak ambil untuk melaksanakan tanggungjawab sebagai Exco, tapi tak mendapat persetujuan mungkin sebab tak sesuai or the timing is not right or any other reasons yang kita tak perlu tau. Logiknya, Exco ni power dia kira besarlah jugak. So, when you're sitting at the decision making's chair, tapi still cannot make decision mesti somehow tak puas hati kot. My father, my husband and I had a big debate about this the other day and personally I think it is a big lost to PAS for letting Hasan Ali go. Maybe Hasan Ali isn't the same person he is before, or there must be something that went wrong that pucuk pimpinan terpaksa membuat keputusan yang dikatakan drastik. 

I cannot believe I am actually writing about this. Bila baca balik, macam yikes.